When my brother Donny died, half of me died with him. We shared a complicated childhood and needed each other to get through some rough times. Whenever I saw or talked with him the ghosts of our past were always present. This is not to project all doom and gloom for Donny's life was full of love and passion for life. There was nothing more important to him than his children and grandchildren and he would lovingly share their most recent antics and adventures with a grandfather's pride. Alongside Donny's family was the love he held for his friends. Childhood friends like Bruce and Bobby, camp friends like Artie, and singing friends like Swifty and many others. Music was an essential component of who my brother was and bonded him to many of his friends as well. He taught me how to sing harmony as we wiled away the time doing dishes every night. Through the years we sang together in different groups and often together. When Donny was singing and the group nailed the song, there was no one happier or prouder. Donny was really smart and although always polite, did not tolerate fools lightly. Although Donny was not a religious person per se the principles that guided how he lived were Christian. Donny also had a marvelous sense of humor and for many of us that knew him well if he wasn't singing he was laughing. He might not have been the best joke teller, but it mattered little as most of the time his audience was in tears before he ever got to the punch line. And he could be silly which his grandkids could never get enough of. In saying goodbye I am struck by a memory of a project Donny worked on for many many years and unfortunately never finished. Donny hated war and was greatly impacted by the emotional toll conflict took on families. He wanted to create a video melding photos of soldiers in recent conflict zones with the music of a Bruce Springsteen song, "Devils Arcade" which explores the life, thoughts, and fears of a married couple in the weeks before the husband's deployment to a war zone. Donny shared with me many of the photos he wanted to include in the musical collage. The images and music still haunt me. Donny's passion for all aspects of his life touched the lives of all who knew him. I miss him and am less for his leaving. An excerpt from a poem his daughter, Laura shared says it best to me; "I have only slipped away into the next room, I am I and you are you. Whatever we were to each other, that we are still".
